Cracker Barrel

If you've ever traveled through the southeast, you've likely seen a Cracker Barrel. It is also likely that you've stopped in an eaten a meal. If you have, this blog is not for you. Go about your business. Nothing to see here. If not, please read on.

The Cracker Barrel Old Country Store is a chain of restaurants that serve "Southern comfort food." The stores are typically located along interstate highways and offer a decent alternative to fast food restaurants. The restaurants serve breakfast all day, and also have a lunch menu. The outside of the restaurant has plenty of rocking chair seating for the 2 hour Sunday morning breakfast wait.

The patrons enter the restaurant through the "Old Country Store". The store is fashioned after the idea of the old country store, where one could come to buy the necessary staples of life. Or, in the case of Cracker Barrel, the unnecessary staples of life (see photo.)
Once seated, the patron can challenge his/her brain by playing a brain-teasing game with golf tees that will either make you feel like a genius or reduce you to a sniveling "eg-no-ra-moose." Be sure to wash your hands after playing. After all, you're about to eat!
The menu has a complete selection of fried foods, and some not-so-fried companions. For breakfast, I enjoy a hearty Uncle Herschel's Favorite (2 eggs, grits, gravy, biscuits, hash-brown casserole, sugar cured ham, and 1 defibrillator.) For lunch and/or dinner, I stick to a fried meat, fried okra, turnip greens, and fried coffee. I rarely deviate from my selections. If I want something different, I can just steal it from someone else's plate.
I like Cracker Barrel for several reasons.
1) They are consistent. You can always count on the meals to be prepared in a familiar fashion. An interstate traveler's dream.
2) They have round tables. What's better than a round table? In the realm of seating, nothing is. It's a very egalitarian piece of furniture.
3) Civil War-ish memorabilia on the walls. Nothing says fine dining like a bayonet hanging over your head.
4) You can make the Pentagon out of mashed potatoes.

So for all of you foreigners who rarely visit the south, do yourself a huge favor and pop into a Cracker Barrel and see what the buzz is all about!

Mmmatt.